


If I Lost You

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Action, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-30
Updated: 2006-01-30
Packaged: 2019-01-19 10:53:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12408972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Setting: Seventh Year, MWPP Era. Lily Evans is a headstrong redhead who doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks of her. She cut herself off from the Marauders when she broke up with her boyfriend, but when an attack on Hogwarts forces her to depend on them again, she is sucked once more into the world of James Potter.





	If I Lost You

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

Setting: Seventh Year, MWPP Era. Lily Evans is a headstrong redhead who doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks of her. She cut herself off from the Marauders when she broke up with her boyfriend, but when an attack on Hogwarts forces her to depend on them again, she is sucked once more into the world of James Potter.

Disclaimer: Of course I'm not JKR, and I probably will never will be unless aliens abduct me and change me into her, but that's highly unlikely, isn't it? Also, I don't own Harry Potter, Hogwarts, or anyof the relatedpeople or places,but of course, with your superiour intellect you deducted that from the fact that I already stated, which is that I AM NOTJ.K. Rowling.

\----

The cool autumn air seemed to circulate lazily around the concrete paths and houses of Godric's Hollow, rattling the dry leaves gently as it whispered through the trees. All was silent, save for the creaking of porch swings as they twisted in the wind.

The colors of fall had always interested the young man who lazed in the loving arms of an old tree, one of his knees bent. His eye for art gazed around, wishing he had a paintbrush.

The blending of reds,yellows,browns, and greens was catching to the eye, and James dearly wanted to paint a picture of the loveliness-except for the fact that he could only draw stick figures.

Oh well.

He shrugged, content just to watch as the wind blew the leaves around.

Everything was peaceful and even tranquil, until the screen door of James' house was thrown open, smashing against the outside of the house.

The man that stepped forward was enough to ruin any tranquil scene.

Sirius Black, with his dashing good looks and longish,dark hair, was completely disturbing in the way he completely demolished everything around him-in an elegant sort of way. He was a ball of perpetual motion, always doing something, always thinking, and normally talking about what he was thinking about.

The corners of James' mouth lifted in his usual smile, watching as his friend bounded athletically through the crunching leaves.

"Oy! Prongs!" Sirius called, waving his arms around. "Just got an owl from Moony!" The wind kicked up then, blowing Sirius' hair quite roughly into his face.

"Damn." he cursed, wiping the once carefully-arrayed locks out of his dark eyes.

"What did it say?" James asked in return, swinging his other leg around the tree. One sleeve of his long-sleeved, black t-shirt snagged on the bark, and he jerked it free.

"He's heading out to Diagon Alley later today, wants to know if we want to come, and can he spend the rest of break here." Sirius replied.

"Must you talk so fast?" James asked wryly.

He tossed some leaves on his friend, who quieted, fixing his hair once again.

"So are we gonna go?" Sirius asked, after ridding his black hair of the last twig.

"Sure, let's just go tell mum." James replied, shrugging.

The two boys raced back to the house, as if they were ten instead of sixteen. Sirius cheated, however, by tripping James and making him fall into a rather wet pile of leaves. James pulled out his wand, charming some of the leaves to stick to Sirius' hair, and was threatening to put a permanent sticking charm on them just as James' mother stepped out onto the porch. 

She was dressed in the usual, a plain cotton dress and an apron, with her brunette locks tied up in a high ponytail. She looked very young, and very angry.

"James! What have I told you about using magic in my house!" she snapped, even though her eyes twinkled at him.

"Sorry, mum." James said, scuffing his feet and stomping on Sirius' at the same time.

"He is, Diana, and he promises not to do it again." Sirius said, referring to her by her first name. James, catching the look of motherly affection that passed between his friend and mother, was slightly jealous, even though he knew that Sirius loved her as his own mother, because his own mother had tossed him to the streets.

James told his mother of their plans, and Diana agreed quickly, snapping her fingers. Instantly, the parchment that had their school-supply lists appeared in her hand, and she handed it to Sirius.

"Have fun, boys, and don't harrass any of those poor girls." Diana said, looking meaningfully at both of her charges.

James ran his hands through his hair, grinning at his mother.

"Why would we do a thing like that, mum?" he asked, smiling his notorious smile.

\----

Getting dressed had always been so boring to her, and she just wanted to get it over with. Finally, at long last, her friend had picked out an outfit, and they were ready to go.

Lily Evans had waited all morning to get out of her friend Hilary's house, but that was just because she wanted to go to Diagon Alley so badly.

All summer, she had been away from her friends from the magical world, having to spend time with her sister Petunia and their parents as they went on vacation to America.

It had been such a bore that Lily had convinced her parents to let her stay with Hilary for the last week of vacation, and the first thing the pair were going to do was go shopping.

Hilary Jenson was a rather plain-looking girl with medium-dark hair that barely brushed the bottom of her chin. She had gotten blonde highlights that summer, and she loved the new look. Her face was thin and her chin slightly pointed, giving her an elfin look.

With thin lips and a small, pointed nose, Hilary looked very much like a mischievous sprite, and Lily often told her so. Hilary was very outgoing and troublesome, often dragging her careful and slightly paranoid friend into madcap adventures.

Lily was quite the opposite of Hilary, being shorter and more slender. Her long, fiery red hair was permanently tied back in a ponytail, the curling ends trailing her shoulders.

Today she was dressed casually, in a bright green top that marvelously accented her stunning eyes, and a short miniskirt made of a black material.

Hilary, however, had taken hours choosing the outfit she was now decked out in.Her long legs were covered by tight, slightly flaring hip-huggers that were a very light, almost white color. Her blouse was of rich cream, buttoning up only halfway, giving anyone who looked a glimpse of exposed cleavage.

"Are we ready yet?" Lily asked boredly, brushing flyaway hairs out of her face. Hilary looked over at her, glaring slightly.

"Do I look okay?" she asked, posing for her friend.

Inwardly, Lily yawned at the shallowness of her friend.

"You look marvelous." she said in a light, bored tone. She grinned as Hilary chewed on her lip. Hilary and Lily were quite opposite, Hilary being rather vain and perpetually unhappy with her outward appearance. Lily could care less. Lily was often percieved as 'odd' because of the way she looked.

Maybe not the way she looked so much as the way she acted. Lily was proud of who she was and didn't give a damn what people said about her.

She often thought that she wasn't terribly pretty, with her orangish hair that was constantly erupting in little curls on her temples, and her green eyes stuck out too much. Her skin was too white, and she had a beauty mark near her lips. So why do all the boys chase you? Hilary often asked. That was a question to which Lily never replied.

Because Lily Evans didn't give a damn what you thought of her.

Hilary was normally fun to be around, with her wild, harebrained ideas that Lily always went along with, but today, Lily found her friend's obsession with her outward appearance slightly annoying.

Actually, it had been annoying her the whole time she stayed with her.

Most seventeen-year-old witches spent their summer breaks researching ways to beautify themselves to get more shagging action when they returned to Hogwarts. Lily didn't care. Right now, all she wanted was a huge ice-cream cone from Flortescue's, something she had been craving all summer.

"Are you ready now?" Lily yawned, brushing those cursed flyaways out of her face once again.

"Yes! Now quit getting hacked off at me!" Hilary snapped back in mock-anger. She held up the perfume bottle she had been holding and squirted it right at her friend.

Lily hissed and threw the nearest thing at her--a box of tissues.

"Now dearies," the mirror said. "If you want to arrive in good shape, you best leave now. No sense in tearing up your carefully made-up faces."

"I'll tear your face up." Hilary snapped, spinning the mirror around so that it was facing the wall. "Fucking thing. I told mum not to buy it for me."

"Watch your language." The mirror snapped back. Hilary rolled her brown eyes and picked up her car-keys.

"Let's go, Lil." she said, grinning.

"About bloody time." Lily answered, grabbing her small purse off Hilary's bed.

The two girls sauntered outside, where they quickly boarded Hilary's small Ford that her sister was letting her borrow. Hilary lived a mere twenty minutes away from Diagon Alley, a twenty minutes that the girls spent discussing Hilary's favorite topic-boys.

"Yes, of course I think bloody Sirius Black is handsome." Lily insisted.

"But enough to shag him?"

"Hell no." Lily answered, a disgusted look on her face. "That would be like shagging a...a...I donno."

"An extremely gorgeous statue?" Hilary said helpfully.

"Ugh. That's disgusting." Lily replied. "The words shagging, Sirius Black, and statue should never be used in that close of proximity again, and if you do, I'll charm your hair into snakes."

"That would be horrible." Hilary said with a true valley-girl accent. "I'm just surprised that you're talking to me about this, instead of brooding like you normally do."

"I don't brood." Lily said indignantly. "I just don't talk as much as you."

"Nope. You definitally brood. I see you all the time, gazing off into nothingness, probably thinking about that boy.."

Lily laughed sardonically, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"So there is a boy."

"No." Lily replied quickly, regaining her usual haughtiness. "You know bloody well that there is, was, and will probably never be a boy. Well, not the kind you think. Maybe I'll date again, but it won't be the way you think."

"Again?" Hilary questioned, raising an eyebrow. "There was a first time?"

Lily became calm again, knowing she had an escape from that slipup.

"I told you about Harold Freyan in first year, didn't I?" she asked coolly. Hilary rolled her eyes.

"You are impossible." she stated, her eyes going back to the road.

\----

James Potter surveyed the dim room that he had just appeared in. He smiled lazily and leaned against a wooden pillar. The smoky atmosphere of the Leaky Cauldron always got him into this mood.

"Jamie..." Sirius' voice taunted. "Look who it is."

James followed his friend's gaze, right to a buxom female who was serving drinks to a group of raunchy-looking old men. She was dressed in a too-tight top that was cut low, exposing a vast expanse of cleavage. Her blonde locks were piled in a sloppy bun on her head, crisp curls falling out all about her heart-shaped face.

"Hide me." was all James could say to Sirius before she spotted him with her cat-like grey eyes.

"James Potter!" she squealed. She rushed over and gave him a warm hug, and he could feel her chest being squished against him. Normally that was enough to get him excited, but not now. Not after what she did.

"Hello Eryn." he said in a flat voice. "It's nice to see you again, even after..."

Eryn's pretty face darkened in a would-be cute pout. But James obviously wasn't fooled.

"I thought we were over that, Jamie." she gushed.

"There is no 'we'." James said, trying to keep his voice calm. He gently removed her arms from around his waist, and backed away, mussing up his hair again. "Leave me alone."

"I wanted to..to make things right." Eryn said, her huge eyes filling up with tears. "Can't you listen to me?"

"No. Not even for a second will I believe that." James said, but he knew he was about to cave. He knew what she had done to him..but he also knew that he wasn't a cold-hearted person.

"Please?" she begged. James sighed. The problem with their relationship was that she knew that he could never say no, especially if she cried.

"Only when we get to Hogwarts." he said firmly. "Only then will I talk to you."

Before Eryn could reply to this, the front door of the Leaky Cauldron banged open, and a fire-colored blur rushed in, leaving the door wide open.

"Damn her!" the blur cried, grabbing the nearest glass and dumping it on her hair. Evidently her red hair had caught fire, though how, James had no idea.

"All right, Evans?" he called, stepping out of the corner in which him and Eryn had been talking.

"Do I bloody well look all right, Potter?" Lily Evans hissed. The loathing she felt for him was written all over her face.

"Depends on what you mean by that, Evans." he answered, his hazel gaze raking up and down her body. The two had an even odder relationship than James and Eryn, and he never let her forget it.

"Take yourself and your swiney little inuendos away from me." Lily hissed through clenched teeth. "I have to go commit murder."

She turned, and was about to walk away when James grabbed her arm, near the wrist. Lily snapped around and made to slap him, but his look stopped her.

"Who are you going to murder?" he asked kindly, something she did not expect from him. She jerked her arm out of his grasp.

"None of your fucking business." she answered with a hiss. They were both aware that the entire bar was watching them, but neither one really cared.

James eyes darkened to an even darker hazel, and Lily knew that she had gotten to him. She took malicious pleasure in that fact.

Besides, who was he to chide her like a three-year old? She hated Potter, with his too-good looks and big-headed attitude. She would much rather eat dirt than spend any more time in his prescense than she had to.

The unfortunate thing was, they had both recently discovered that they would be spending alot of time together this year, since they were to be Head Boy and Girl.

"Get away from me." Lily hissed when James did not say anything. "Go back to your pansy-assed girlfriend and leave me alone."

"You always were a bitch, Evans." James replied coolly. "But I never expected that that attitude could grow over the summer, just like your pretty red hair."

"I could say the same of your inflated head." Lily snapped back, turning around and stomping away, successfully this time.

\----

"I'm sorry Lily, okay?"

"Not okay." Lily snapped in reply, wringing out her still-wet hair. "But I forgive you, even though any idiot could have told you that cigarette lighters can really make fire."

"I'm not the muggle-born here." Hilary said, blushing sheepishly.

"Thanks. As if my day hadn't started bad enough." Lily said, staring blankly as the girls attempted to window-shop the stores of Diagon Alley.

Hilary looked disconcerted, glancing over at her friend.

"Did you meet Potter in there?" she asked, indicating the Leaky Cauldron, which was behind them.

"Yes, and I really don't want to talk about it."

"Why not? I'm all ears." Hilary said encouragingly. "Come on. I'll even buy your favorite."

They stopped at Flortescue's, and Lily sighed before sinking into one of the chairs. The chairs were set beside the cute round tables with the umbrella's sticking out of them. Hilary walked up and bought two huge cones from the outside window, coming back and handing Lily hers with a flourish.

"Now spill." she said with a grin.

"I never agreed to tell you anything." Lily snapped in an irritated fashion. Her friend knew she was joking, however.

Hilary crossed her arms across her chest.

"Fine. Then I'm not apologizing for reading your diary."

Lily looked over at her in mock-horror.

"You read my diary?" she asked, more interested than outraged. Hilary nodded, shaking her brown hair away from her ice-cream.

"Naturally. It was quite interesting, actually." she said.

"What was quite interesting?" the voice of Sirius Black cut in. He was dressed inpeccably in a cotton blue shirt, and he sat down jauntily in between the two girls.

Lily almost grinned, but knew that this boy had just watched her entire interlude with James Potter.

"Me reading Lily's diary, of course." Hilary stated genially. "It is good to see you, Sirius."

"Always." Sirius replied arrogantly. "But tell me about Lily's diary."

With a quick wave of her wand and a muttered word, Lily had her best friend under a powerful silencing charm.

Sirius glanced over at her, smiling.

"I do love it when best friends turn against eachother, just because of me." he said with a winning smile. Lily, for some reason, did not doubt that, especially when the 'best friends' were in the female category.

"I just wanted to say hello." Sirius said, holding up his hands as Lily prepared to silence him too.

"Well, you said it." Lily said, glaring. "Why aren't you with Potter?"

"No no no, Lily." Sirius said, an exasperated look on his face. "You have to say hello too, that way we can have an actual conversation. Let's start over. Hello Lily."

"Go away, Black." Lily hissed, seeing the look of outrage on Hilary's face.

"Say it!"

"Go away."

"Say it now, or I will tell Rita Skeeter, the runner of the school's newspaper, that you and I had an illicit affair this summer."

"You wouldn't!" Lily gasped in outrage.

"I would."

"Fuck you, Black."

"I'll tell her you did just that."

"Hello." Lily finally said, through clenched teeth. Sirius raised his dark eyebrows, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"Hello, Sirius."

"That's much better!" Sirius exclaimed, clapping his hands. "But now, I must depart, fair lady." he glanced at Hilary. "Ladies."

"Black!" Lily screamed, but he had already sauntered away, no doubt to bug some other unsuspecting bystander. She performed the counter-charm for Hilary, and her friend sighed in relief.

"He's an odd one." Hilary said.

"Bloody idiot." Lily hissed, staring at Sirius' retreating back.

\----

"Padfoot. Do me a favor."

"Anything, James darling." Sirius teased with a grin.

"Shut up." James replied, going back to examining the dust on his Quiddich trophies. They were back at his house, all of their books bought and packed away in their trunks. Tomorrow they would board the train for Hogwarts.

"Moony, toss me those socks." James said. They had met up with Remus earlier in the day, near Eyelops Owl Emporium. Remus had bought himself a nice-looking barn owl, for his old one, Garun, had not returned from his last journey.

The female owl was now seated next to James' eagle owl, Snowbourn, who was a huge white owl with eerie green eyes. Remus' owl was rather small and brown, but very pretty. The boys had decided to name her Triss, after a famous singer.

Remus obliged, throwing the pair of white socks at his friend, who was packing everything up in his trunk.

Sirius was stretched leisurely across James' bed, his lanky frame covering almost the entire thing. His knowing smile made James want to throw something rather large and heavy at him.

Remus looked to and fro at each of their faces, clearly confused.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Nothing." James said, at the same time Sirius laughed.

"Really." Remus prompted. "I feel like Peter."

"Do you want me to tell you?" Sirius asked, ignoring the pair of shoes that James tossed at him.

"Duh." Remus replied, shaking his head at the idiocy of his friend. "Tell now, before James kills you. No, wait wait! Let me guess. It has something to do with a female."

"Ooooh...he's smart." James said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Shut up, twat." Sirius hissed. "I think he's on to something. Go on Reemie."

"A certain red-headed Gryffindor?" Remus asked, both eyebrows raised. "I thought you were over her, James."

"Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Will the lovely ladies please give the gentleman his prize?" Sirius said mockingly, pretending to be holding a microphone. James smacked him with a pillow and Remus sighed.

"What happened this time." he stated, waiting for the whole story to unfold before him. Remus was like that, you see. He was very confident in the fact that he would be told everything, never criticizing, but always giving helpful advice. He also wasn't afraid to tell you when you screwed up, either.

James sighed, raking his fingers roughly through his hair.

"Honestly, could we talk about anything else?" he asked.

"No." Sirius and Remus said simultaneously.

"..Because if you don't get this out, it will bug you for days and days and you'll lose weight because you'll have stopped eating and you will worry and worry until you finally end up committing suicide because you have worried yourself to death." Sirius said knowingly.

Remus smacked him upside the head while James sank into his comfy chair by his desk.

"If you really want to know...it's not about Evans."

Both Remus and Sirius let out dramatic gasps.

"No!" Sirius exclaimed. "...another girl?"

"Yes." James said firmly, even though his handsome face was laced with pain. "It's about Eryn McLaughlin."

"That bitch?" Sirius snorted. "I thought you ditched her, after she-"

"I thought I did too." James cut in. Remus watched the conversation with interest, soaking it all up and no doubt thinking up a way to make James' life easier.

"She wants me to 'talk' to her about it." James said flatly.

"Tell her no." Remus said finally. "She doesn't deserve it."

"I'll feel bad, then." James replied, scratching his head again. "We did have ground, if that's what it's to be called."

"Nah. Just forget about her, mate!" Sirius exclaimed. "Tell ya what. I know exactly what will cheer you up. Go snog Evans for a while, and then I'm sure you'll be feeling up to yourself again."

James snorted. As if life were that easy.

"Like Evans would actually let me snog her." he said incredulously.

"Why not? You're not as ugly as Remus, and you aren't as mean as...well you think." Sirius said, sniggering.

"I heard that." Remus said in a mock-hurt voice. "And I bet I could snog Evans much quicker than either of you."

"What's the wager?" Sirius asked, his dark eyes lighting up.

"Back off." James snapped irritably. "I saw her first."

Both Remus and Sirius grinned behind their friend's back. They knew that this year, James would finally date the notorious Lily Evans.

"Four hundred and fifty-six times the charm." Sirius muttered.

\----


End file.
